Today, and every day, I’m experiencing a little bit of anxiety. I worry like a car without a driver, or a horse without a rider. I worry because my brain goes totally haywire for no reason. Except there are a few reasons that I will offer you at the outset of this post, before I garner too much sympathy. After all, everybody has anxiety.
Today’s obvious reasons for anxiety are that I did not take my very small dose of anxiolytic medicine until about half an hour ago, and I’m certain that I’m addicted to it. Also, I’m due for my shot of MS medicine this evening, after having an extra day off as part of the usual cycle of three doses per week, which leaves an extra day off in the course of a seven day week. I had a yummy protein- infused breakfast at about 11:30 am after virtual church, and I even exercised for seventeen minutes yesterday on the treadmill. The breakfast and the exercise calmed it down, but I’ve still been a little bit anxious all day. Had a recent performance review at work, so I get to enjoy that obsessive loop of self-doubt, even though I did okay, but not perfectly.
Hammering away at these keys is calming the anxiety flurry, though, which is why you might be reading this mess. I know that everything is okay, and that it is almost Christmas after all, but only finishing up all the prep and getting through my work days this week will be the sole way out of anxiety central for me. Really, my only relief normally is to be asleep, and especially not to be driving anywhere.
So, things have improved in the span of time that I’ve written this post, and I’ve gotten some more self-improvement ideas as I type. Will wait until the waters are much calmer again before I meditate. Maybe I can also try the treadmill again, after eating some more food, but there is only so much cheese in the house. I’m glad that I’m not trying therapy right now, because I could only sit talking about this for about five minutes, so I would have to make stuff up for the rest of the session, even when there is this awful hairy tangle of my lack of self-acceptance that is just hard to put into words. My only therapy is trying not to write run-on sentences, and you see how well I do with that!
In any case, Happy Holidays! It’s the most wonderful time of the year. I hope everybody gets through the holidays with minimal stress, and that we all might be sweet to one another. What else can you do? Take it easy, friends. Merry Christmas!
#Anxiety #Holidays #Stress #Thinking #Worrying #Fretting #Eating #Sleeping #Rest #WrapItUp