Preoccupation

Do you all get caught up in ideas and cannot let them go? I used to more frequently than I do now, what with having been schizophrenic and stuff. Praise the Lord I’m growing out of this, but a good delusion every once in a while is encouraging for one’s creativity. It’s all okay when it’s not a living nightmare from which one cannot wake up. I’m not making light of the situation, but rather lemonade out of lemons. My mental illness transformed me, and I know there are others who have lived this, so I’m sharing my soul with hope.

Knowing that I have a tendency to ruminate, I try to actively direct my thinking to innocuous things, and to concentrate solely on peace and love, puppies and kitties, and word definitions, because I’ve lost my working memory of smarts after all of the brain strain of mental illness, coping, recovering, crying, and just not thinking. Mainly I go to my job and wear a mask.

Actually, my new mindset of promoting peace exclusively has made my days brighter, and my affect more tolerable. I also take my medicine. I go to my job so I can get the medicine, so I can go to my job. I know, it’s a beautiful circle of life.

Happy Thanksgiving, dear universe. I really hope that extra-terrestrial space aliens are the ones reading my blog, but for all of the Earthlings tuning in, thank you kindly for reading.

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