Vanity

Dear Friends,

I must admit that I’m just as vain as any other reality television star (or world leader?), and that I love to see myself on Facebook TV. I did a story-time for my job, and I watched it twice, once without sound and again at the end of the day while listening to the sound of my own voice reading children’s books and singing children’s songs.

Because of today’s vanity excursion, I’m thinking about a little self-flagellation, or maybe I’ll just sit and read after I finish with this self-expressive episode. All of my life I had wanted to be an artist, but I did keep myself from doing so with the belief that such expression is just vain and that I need to go to Confession. Thankfully, in this fine arena here of writing and self-expression, I do find that I’m not alone, and I trust that you all are handling this much better psychologically than I had as a youth and of the warped mind. Thankfully I never got into self-injury like how some kids do now, and if anyone reading this wants to hurt their precious selves, I beg you please to stop! It is natural as a human being to want to make art, and art is okay with me. Probably with other conscious entities as well.

Unfortunately my painting is not too great, my drawing is better, but I’m thinking that now I’m going to regulate myself to words, so I might try to write some poems, because what other discipline is there for those too lazy to write a novel? Really, what I mean to say is not smart enough to craft a novel. Indeed, I find my creativity is often thwarted by my inability to meander out of my thinking brain and into the world of imagination and fine craft. I know, once again, self-defeated.

In any case, I will indeed look up some poetry forms and make my brain do some thinking. I feel that it’s healthy, what with the MS and brain atrophy more pronounced than what it should be for someone of my age. Just remember that the one goal of my life is to make children’s books, and if it ends up just being the one I made out of paper, glue, string, and felt, then that is still enough for me. Life is an adventure, and I just pray that I’m not too vain to make art.

#Artmaking #Poetry #Thinking #Procrastinating #Atrophy #Regeneration #Healing #Creativity

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