My Thirties and Forties

This was a part of my life that had good parts, but also there was the ongoing depression. I did finish college ten years later, and went on to a graduate degree, but I’m still too goofy to work in my field. Oh well, too bad. I like what I do now better anyway.

I managed to do okay with being married, and my husband quite literally saved my life. Right before we got together, I did try to end it all, in a very slow-moving and non-committal kind of way. Seriously, I finally acted upon my suicidal tendencies of being in my twenties, and took seven extra capsules of my anti-depressant. The worst part was that I had to stay at the hospital for a bit, and that I broke my mother’s heart. She’s never really gotten over it, but she does still love me. When I went back to work after my “episode,” I continued to chat with the guy who wondered where I had been, but kept coming back to the end-of-season sales where I worked. It was meant to be.

Our marriage has been the highlight of my life, especially with our pets. My husband made some really good Hot and Sour Soup from scratch yesterday, and I’m about to go partake of it. Being married has made me love life again, despite occasional problems, but I’m mostly past all of that now.

Part of my problems were actually my MS medicine, but I shifted that miraculously upon the discretion of my insurance provider, who switched me to a medicine that does not keep me overwhelmingly depressed. This was all quite miserable, but thankfully it got better, in a stroke of luck or divine intervention. Who would have thought?

The message for today is to keep on trying. You have no idea what the future holds, and the strangest of changes just might make everything better one day. I still don’t have any kids, but now I’m too old for that, so there are the four-legged friends. I also love my plants, that come and go.

It all does come and go, in this beautiful, terrible life. I’m going to keep trying.

#Healing #Hope #Friendship #Pets #Plants #Music #Art #Books #SpaceTravel #HotandSour

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