Sorry

Dear Friends,

Sorry not to have been here in so long. Actually, you know that this is all not-direct communicaton anyway. Like I am doing much better in direct communication these days, seeing as how we are locked down form getting out. Oh well, probably it’s better to stay indoors anyway.

So, all of this is very serious, as every life is very serious. I think it is important that we remember that life is not a video game. As I frequent the drive-thrus currently, I’m hungry to say, “Thank you for being here. Thank you for being essential. Thank you for wearing a mask.” I wish that the world were not presenting itself as it is these days, and frankly, I do not know what all of this means. Because of my mental illness, I forbid myself from reading prophetic books of the Bible, but I still believe the Bible. Thankfully there are still a lot of positive books written on living the message of Jesus, and this is still what I believe.

Speaking of mental illness, how do I even consider myself as still having one, seing as how I’ve lived twenty plus years with the same diagnosis. It is so very strange that once you’ve got one you are doomed. Maybe we should all be receiving the sort of mental health work that Dr. Amen is doing with the actual scans of the organ in question, but maybe it is better that we do with DSM checklists and a configuration of illness that is subjective by any means. I think that I have a schizoaffective disorder, but I may have grown out of it, if possible. What the actual what, is what I say. Although I do kn0w that I did indeed present as having a schizoaffective disorder, twenty-five years ago.

Not meaning to be unduly critical, but I believe a little bit of skepticism is what might help me to grow out of this, and to live my life as an actual human. Lest we not forget, we are each individual human beings with individual problems, and life is an inscrutably difficult undertaking anyway. How do we live here on Earth with one another, without pointing fingers and making jobs by labeling some as sick and others as not sick, while also adminstering psychotropic medicines in a world of diet coke and preservatives in the first place.

Aw, goodness gracious. If it is not impossible to figure out. And yes, I was kind of a bitch to my Mom, back in the day, with a broken heart and existential questions, and the not sleeping but thinking. Maybe it is time that we investigate these existential questions collectively, and figure out matters of faith beyond the exterior walls of a church or an instiution. What, my friends, is the meaning of life?

Who am I and who are you, and has this not been adressed on television? I don’t know, man, and I do take my meds, religously every day.

May you all ineed be blessed. May you all be happy, and may you all find peace.

#Infinity #Problems #Existence #Psychmeds #Pain #Suffering #Meditation #Peace

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