Hey, my Multiverse of friends, and loyal #MentalHealth Allies; I’m so sorry that it has been so long since I’ve connected. Actually things are going fairly well lately, but that’s like this weekend, because it is the weekend and I’m not working. During the week, at work, I had been experiencing a litttle bit of my social anxiety, and I’m still not 100% sure that everyone doesn’t hate me. Actually, I think that everything is okay and my emotions get overblown, but always to the same extreme assumption. At least I can see this, and I do work really hard to be positive and pleasant and sweet, probably to my detriment, but it’s all I can do to cope.
Thankfully my meds have been doing their good work lately, and I haven’t wanted to end my life for some time. Let’s say around six months to a year. It’s the perfectionism that gets me down, and I know I just need to be like a better self-directed artist with goals and strategies. At least I did finally narrow it down to children’s books, rather than the great American novel, which I clearly could never write.
About my meds, I know they make my belly fat, and that I don’t exercise as I ought, but the pleasant sedation is kind of helpful for me. I wish that I could get super accurate medicine analyzing each chemical interaction, but we all know that’s like unattainable in most cases. Interestingly, I did do one of Dr. Amen’s quizzes and came up with the same brain type as years ago (Yay! consistency) and it showed that my Anterior Cingulate Gyrus is working too hard, hence the symptoms that I experience of getting stuck and not being able to “change gears.” The cool thing about this is that, after specifically asking my neurologist precisely what structure in my brain is showing damage from my MS, she pinpointed the same spot, that Anterior Cingulate Gyrus, and revealed the same sort of symptomology that I do agree I seem to be experienceing.
While it is hard to glean these answers from the universe, and from those caring for my afflicted self, every once in a while I do ask the right questions, and they do try to help. Dr. Amen has been my hero for some time, but Lord knows I can’t afford that SPECT imaging, which would be cool, but out of my league. I’m quite content with my hackneyed pursuit of knowledge and love my guiding physisians who are really sweet about not giving up on me.
I will say, though, this blog is not to give the Multiverse answers on anybody else’s conditions, but to encourage our fellow travellers that there is hope, and that positive interaction and self-learning, really does often help the situation. At least we all know that we are not alone, and I pray that the stigmas that hold us back are somewhat dissipating. ‘Cause you now the toxins out there can be fearsome, but I believe in accessing the positive energy and moving forward, and I’m finding this to be an ongoing, daily “adventure.”
Maybe my coffee is helping my positive attitude this morning, or maybe it’s the day off. I try not to abuse any of these crutches that I need, but to cherish the process of living and learning. Blessings, friends, and I absolutely wish you all the best on your individual journeys.
#Mentalhealth #Schizoaffective #peaceloving #healthcare #notgivingup #dayafterday